Spontaneity has never been my strong suit. I’ve always admired it from afar, nodding my head approvingly at the idea of carpe diem, going with the flow, and all of that. But acknowledging its value and actually welcoming it into my life are two very different things.
I know that my resistance to spontaneity has to do with my attachment to control, or the idea of it, which is something I’m trying to let go of. It’s not easy to let go of things, though, when letting go is often more uncomfortable than not. When I try to be more spontaneous or to roll with the punches I usually end up feeling destabilized and off-kilter, which doesn’t encourage me to do it more often.
Sometimes being freewheeling with my schedule and saying yes to things at the last minute means that I lose time for the actions and routines that keep me grounded and healthy: yoga, cooking, moving at a steady pace, consciously creating solo time if I’ve been around people a lot. It’s taken me a while to figure out how important these things are to my overall well-being, so of course I work hard to preserve them. But I know that there’s a fine line between protecting my nourishing habits and clinging to routine. And the more set in my habits I allow myself to be, the more convinced I become that I can’t handle changing them—a sense of fragility that I neither want nor need.
This week, I played around with being spontaneous—not intentionally, but because chances to do it came up. On Wednesday, a friend ended up with a gap in his work schedule and asked me whether I’d like to meet up for a while. I’d had a long morning of cooking and was immediately inclined to say no, but when I tried to imagine how it would be to sit down and catch up with him, I realized how much I wanted to say yes. I did said yes, in spite of being a little worn out, and our time was really energizing. I was glad he asked, and I thanked him for doing it.
On Friday, I realized that the plans I thought I’d committed to for Sunday were in fact happening on Saturday. As soon as I realized my error, I wanted to bail, because the day had taken shape in my mind already. Once again, I thought about what saying yes would feel like, and it was a positive enough visualization that I could push through the discomfort of the unanticipated changes in timing.
As it turned out, most of my Saturday shifted around under my feet; the day I thought I’d be having isn’t a bit like the one I had. But the one I had was fun and rich and sweet, and it’s very possible that the Saturday I’d initially counted on would have been less so. Or at least, it wouldn’t have been this Saturday, with the experiences it contained. So I’m happy I gave myself over to the flow of things, rather than tensing up against the unanticipated.
Not long ago, I wrote about the importance of saying no, and I stand by those words. But it’s important for me to resist rigid thought patterns that coax me into thinking that, if one thing is true, something oppositional must be untrue. Saying no is the right choice for me sometimes. Saying yes is right sometimes, too. Siding with one at the expense of the other saves me the work of learning to carefully discern whether a “yes” or a “no” is right for me in any given moment, which is part of the greater work of learning to tune into my own needs and listen to my intuition. But that’s good work, work that wants doing.
Navigating the space between openness and boundaries isn’t a straightforward business, and as I keep trying I know that I’ll inevitably have some missteps. I’ll opt in to things that tire me out, or I’ll miss out on moments that might have been fun and rewarding.
That’s OK. Another tendency I’m working on these days is my tendency to be precious, to regard each moment as a one-shot deal. I’m constantly assuring my nutrition clients who a) have the privilege of steady food access and b) have a tendency create a lot of suffering around getting food choices “right” or “wrong” that no single meal is all that important; there will be others, lots of opportunity to make different choices. So too with connection and experience. There’s always another chance to practice, if we’re up for it.
Wishing you a week full of yes’s and no’s, as the case may be, and appreciation of them all. Here are my recipe picks and reads from the past week.
My friend Amanda just celebrated a burger month on her blog, with plenty of incredible recipes, and this crispy quinoa cauliflower burger is my favorite so far.
This vegan kimchi mac n’ cheese has been bookmarked for my next comfort food craving. So much cheesy and umami goodness!
I can never get enough smashed chickpea salad recipes, and right now I’ve got my eyes on Brandi’s awesome caesar version. What a cool idea to use artichoke brine.
Sara’s beautiful grilled mushroom bowls with muhamarra are inspiring me to get my grill pan out for the first time this summer.
Almond butter fudgsicles, anyone?
1. I loved reading Eric Kim’s tearjerker of an ode to the five cookbooks that have made him cry. Zahav is the only one I’ve read, but they’re all on my wish list now.
2. Speaking of my wish list, I’m eager to take a closer look at this list of 39 health and science titles for the summer.
3. A new research review points to the benefits of a plant-based diet for heart health.
4. I really like this article on raising vegan/vegetarian kids and teens—it’s both supportive and evidence-based, and the dietitians interviewed offer good tips and guidelines for parents.
5. This post was written for Mental Health Awareness Month, which is behind us, but I’m sharing it because I’m so glad that my friend Stepfanie had the guts to share about her experience with anxiety. I can intimately relate to the digging of nails into tender flesh to help distract oneself from racing thoughts or irrational fears—and I’m guessing I’m not the only one.
Each time any of us takes the time to put experience into words, we contribute to a culture in which mental health struggles can be acknowledged without stigma or shame. Thanks, Stepfanie.
My long day of cooking earlier this week was the most I’ve done in a long time; it’s a summer of hands-off meals for me, which feels totally alright. But I do have a new recipe to share this week, as well as some summer appetizer inspiration to chat about. Till then, take good care.
xo
The post Weekend Reading, 7.29.18 appeared first on The Full Helping.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/07/180726160956.htm
This list tackles history in the making, celebrating women and non-binary musicians whose songs are redefining genres and attitudes and changing our sense of what popular music can be in this century.
(Image credit: Scott Legato/FilmMagic)
This list tackles history in the making, celebrating women and non-binary musicians whose songs are redefining genres and attitudes and changing our sense of what popular music can be in this century.
(Image credit: Shirlaine Forrest/WireImage)
The Atlanta rapper wants to tackle big issues affecting his native city, from affordable housing and employment opportunities to better education.
(Image credit: Zach Wolfe/Courtesy of the artist)
The Department of Justice has released previously top-secret documents about the monitoring of former Trump campaign advisor Carter Page.
NPR's Michel Martin speaks with Reveal reporter Aura Bogado about her investigation of two office buildings in Phoenix, Ariz., where migrant children were being held in secret.
Hunter, who died Sunday, made more than 50 films, including Damn Yankees, Battle Cry and That Kind of Woman, before coming out as gay later in life. He spoke to Fresh Air in 2005.
After a year in which she has dealt with some health scares, Williams reclaimed her fitness and her game. She is favored against Angelique Kerber to win her eighth Wimbledon singles title.
(Image credit: Clive Mason/Getty Images)
Sen. James Lankford, R-Okla., talks with NPR's Ailsa Chang about the Justice Department's latest charges against 12 Russian cyberspies related to the 2016 targeting of the DNC and Clinton campaign.
As crops get thirsty in Ireland, some plants are faring better than others. Aerial photos show a pattern in crop growth near Newgrange, believed to be the footprint of a previously unknown henge.
(Image credit: Anthony Murphy/Mythical Ireland)
The lower house of parliament OK'd the bill, which is likely to sail through the upper house too. "We are ready to think and act beyond narrow short-term and vested interests," one lawmaker vowed.
(Image credit: Dave Walsh/VW Pics/UIG via Getty Images)
Two Central American fathers in El Paso were just released from ICE custody and reunited with their toddlers. Attorneys say the reunification process is ongoing, but haphazard and poorly coordinated.
(Image credit: Matt York/AP)
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/07/180712114442.htm
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/07/180712114608.htm
PA State Troopers ran over and killed a man with a bulldozer this week after they suspected him of growing marijuana plants.
The post Cops Bulldoze Unarmed Man to Death Because they Suspected Him of Growing Marijuana appeared first on The Free Thought Project.
https://thefreethoughtproject.com/cops-bulldozer-a-man-to-death-over-a-plant/
The nominees for the 70th Primetime Emmy Awards were announced this morning in Hollywood.
(Image credit: Eric Jamison/Invision/AP)
The texture is smooth and inviting with classic Marlborough flavours including ripe bell pepper and tropical fruit. Crisp acidity rounds off an elegant structure.
A portion of Spa Valley Sauvignon Blanc is fermented in oak barrels to give the wine secondary aromas, smoother texture and more complexity.
For more information visit www.spyvalleywine.co.nz.
The post Drop of the Week: Spy Valley Sauvignon Blanc 2017 appeared first on MiNDFOOD.
https://www.mindfood.com/recipe/drop-of-the-week-spy-valley-sauvignon-blanc-2017/
Reese Witherspoon is seemingly unstoppable. She’s an Oscar-winning actor, Emmy-winning producer, has a book club and is now set to host her own talk-show VOD channel.
Dolly Parton, Ava DuVernay, Pink and America Ferrera are just a few of the guests on Reese Witherspoon’s unscripted half-hour television series “Shine On With Reese” where she’ll interview trailblazing women about their journeys to success.
The trailblazer in her own right will celebrate “the stories of extraordinary women who have created their own unique paths to success,” according to a press release, with host Witherspoon leading conversations about “their perspectives on ambition, work, family and hopes for the future.”
The series will find a home on a new video on demand network created for Witherspoon’s media company, Hello Sunshine, the Huffington Post reports.
“I am thrilled to have such like-minded, creative collaborators at AT&T to help Hello Sunshine pursue our mission of elevating and showcasing the voices of women that we have such admiration and respect for,” Witherspoon said in a press release.
Witherspoon is just one star among many signing production deals with media outlets. In June Oprah Winfrey signed a deal with Apple for new original programs. Witherspoon and Winfrey’s deals come as huge streaming services such as Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon are vying to lock producers, actors, and showrunners into production contracts, Entertainment Weekly reports.
The post Reese Witherspoon to interview inspiring women in new TV talk-show appeared first on MiNDFOOD.
https://www.mindfood.com/article/reese-witherspoon-to-interview-inspiring-women-in-new-tv-talk-show/
A man was paid as an archives director in Spain for a decade, but he reportedly would only clock in, leave and then return to clock out. He's been barred from government work for several years.
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/holistic-home-tour-chris-kim-onciul
The Charlotte Housing Authority requires that people who get housing subsidies work — and the program is considered a success story. But helping people become self-sufficient remains a challenge.
(Image credit: Brakkton Booker/NPR)
Kate Christensen's new novel follows a group of people on a vintage-themed cruise — think cabaret, cocktails and no internet — who are thrown together unexpectedly when things go wrong on board.
(Image credit: Samantha Clark/NPR)
